When I'm 64...

I hope to be half the person my father is. Three rounds of chemo, and he still has a wonderful attitude, in spite of some fatigue, some pain. In my family, I am closest to my father. And these rough times have drawn us closer. We've had conversations that I will carry around in my heart for the remainder of my life. I am so grateful for this time I have with him. And with so many other stressful things going on around us, right now, he is the one person remaining calm and sure it will all be okay. He takes things in stride with incredible grace.


I am holding up, for him, for my family, but I drop as many tears down the shower drain as I do water, lately. It is like an emotional marathon. I'm still going, and I won't fall. He keeps thanking me for being here for him...he doesn't get it, I guess, that you reap what you sow, and I wouldn't do any less. He has always been there for me.

So, we celebrated my dad, this weekend, as he turned 64. Every occasion is bittersweet, because my mind wonders "Will there be more?" I'm trying not to ruin today by worrying about the future, because all I have is today. Well, that's all anybody has. I have had some wonderful and amazing people come into my life, during one the hardest points in my life. Like angels, coming in at the time I need them most. I hope I live long enough to give back to the universe all the kindness that I have been shown. ~Monica

Life's a Beach

We took the kids to Brigantine beach, this week, and they had a ball! It was a hot day, with a land breeze, but at least no greenheads or horse flies. The winds shifted, and it was much cooler, for the last hour we were there. The kids had a blast on their boogey boards!

I was almost giddy...I haven't worn a bikini on the beach in YEARS. And, I didn't feel too self-conscious in it! I have a whole month, yet, to look better and better...I've really kicked myself into high gear, on BFL. I can't wait to see how far I get with it.