Treadmill Hell

I decided to rearrange my basement, two months ago. I set the home gym up in a spacious corner, and it looks and functions great. However, ever since I did this, I started having terrible trouble getting in my cardio on the treadmill, each day. And my timed miles were taking so much longer. My lungs burned, my legs burned...I couldn't complete my workouts. WTF?? I started thinking it was exercise-induced asthma. Then, I thought it was too warm in the basement, and bought a big fan to blow on me while I ran. I couldn't figure it out. I actually was brought to tears, last week, trying to improve my 2-mile time. I was so frustrated. I was ready to go to my doctor to see what was wrong with me. Part of me thought it was all psychological...maybe because my dad has lung cancer, I now feel like I can't breathe, either.

Well, today, I checked out the treadmill, because I couldn't fold it up. I had the incline set to 1%...this is the lowest it goes. Something was wrong. It really looks like it's on an incline! But it's reading 1, so ??? So then I put the incline all the way up to 10, and lowered it back down to 1. That treadmill went way, way down!! I must have done something when I first moved it that reset the readout to 1 while on an incline!! I was so happy, I was in tears laughing. It's not me!! It's not my fault!! I estimate that incline was probably 4-5%, for the past 2 months that I tried to do my normal (and difficult) cardio workout. No wonder my timed runs sucked so bad!!

I got on that SOB, and ran my two miles straight, no stopping, no walking. I made it in 19:20. Yay!! I know I can beat that time, too, but I was just thrilled it didn't take me 25 minutes, like last week!

All that time, I thought I was out of shape, or had asthma.  Screw that!!  :)

Looking back...

I was looking through old photo albums, yesterday, which I love to do. I came across a few, rare photos of myself, at a much heavier weight. When I was at the end of my pregnancy with my daughter, I was 205 pounds. I was a little heavy before this (160), but putting on all that extra really made me overwhelmed, after she was born. In this photo, my daughter was already 5 months old, and I was still about 185 pounds. At 5' 6", that's about 40 to 50 pounds over normal. It took me a full year, to bring my weight down to 145. I basically ate less junk, ate more fresh fruit and veggies, and walked every day.

I had my son, in 2000, and got right back down to my starting weight within months, because I kept up the walking throughout the whole pregnancy. I felt good, but my weight stop moving downward for a while.

I then decided I wanted to be smaller. I'm ashamed to admit that I got myself down to 130 in the worst way. I hardly ate anything. I walked and ran on my treadmill twice a day, 45 minutes each time. I drank coffee from morning 'til night, to keep my energy up. I got thin, but I looked gaunt. My skin looked horrible, my hair was thinning out. I was skinny, but looked terrible. I keep this up for almost a year, but it's no way to live, so the pounds crept up, again.

In 2003, I read about Body for Life...I forget if it was in a magazine or online. My sister had also heard of it, and already had the book. I bought the book, myself, and attempted my first challenge...and lasted 3 weeks, because I was so impatient, and so addicted to the scale numbers...they weren't moving fast enough. I quit. Went back to my walking/running...kept the weight in check, but no great results. A year later, I tried BFL again, and again, 3 weeks in, quit. I was seeing some results, but again, the scale wasn't moving much.

Okay, so this winter, my weight crept up to 151, and it was either buy some new clothes, or do something different. I stumbled upon Body for Life Tracker...I lurked for a week and joined. I first joined a team of newbies, like me, and we created Road to Ripped. These guys saw me past that 3rd week and beyond!! The support made all the difference! I kicked things up a notch by joining a second team, where the pressure to perform is more intense, called Team Asylum. That powered me through to the finish of my first 12-week challenge! I'm just a few weeks from ending my 2nd challenge, and have started on an official challenge (competition) on the Tracker site.

Through Body for Life, I have made changes in my body that I never would have through starving and cardio. I've put on some lovely muscle, and gotten rid of a substantial amount of fat. I've reshaped my body! Not only that, but because I'm eating so healthy, my skin and hair look better than ever! Plus, I don't need coffee all day. I have energy!! I have to say, I wouldn't go back 10 years for anything. I think I look more like a 28-year-old, now, more than I did back then.

I sound like an infomercial, but I can't express enough how this lifestyle has changed me. With all that's going on in my life, right now, if I wasn't taking this kind of care of myself, I'd be on anti-depressants, like I was on and off for years. I am so much stronger, inside and out, than I have ever been!

Finding Good in the Bad...

I live in NJ, but for the past few months, I practically live in Philly. Normally, I LOVE going into Philly. Shows, shopping, dining, concerts, sporting events...it has tons to offer. However, I have become well-acquainted with the Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, which is a complex of buildings taking up a couple blocks....why?

My father was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, in mid-May, and since then, I have accompanied my parents to all the tests and Dr. visits, averaging twice a week. My father is now on a schedule, receiving chemo once every 3 weeks, with a couple tests and a Dr. visit in between each dose. Between the drive (or sometimes train ride)and all the waiting to see doctors, it starts to drain you, as a supporting family member.

That is nothing compared to the emotional drain of the constant roller coaster cancer forces you on. Bad news, then good news, then more bad news, then waiting forever for test results, then bad news mixed with good news, then the waiting and wondering what will work and what won't. This has taken a huge toll on the family's energy...However, it hasn't taken away our spirit and our hope. The weirdest twist of all: we have had more time, connection, laughs and talks than ever. We are living so in the moment.

Another amazing thing has happened, too. We have all been overwhelmed by the kindness of people around us. Some of my closest friends have drawn me closer, and have been more present than ever, even though they don't know what to say. My father's friends from now and from long ago are doing the same, showing up at his door and reminiscing their good times...reminding my dad of how much he has survived, and thrived, in his 63 years. This has done wonders for my dad. Everywhere I go, people ask about "Lou." Every single person at Jefferson Hospital has been wonderful! They go the extra mile to comfort you and assure you. We've gotten to know quite a few of them, and they remember my dad. I also have good friends, online, on Body for Life Tracker, that I've never met in person. They have supported me and brought me so much comfort. They are an amazing bunch of truly good-hearted people, and I genuinely care about them, too!


I am not unique in my experiences, but we all handle our experiences in unique ways. My mom's motto is "it's all about fun!" It's a good way to be. I'm slowly adopting that motto. If you really look, you can find good stuff within almost any sort of experience. It may seem like a total tragedy, when it's happening, and you might chalk everything up as a loss...but you'll miss some precious opportunities to learn and grow if you curl up and play the victim. I don't believe that everything happens for a reason...I've never liked that saying. Bad stuff happens, it's nothing personal. However, we are not helpless creatures. We learn, we adapt, we survive, and we can even thrive amidst the chaos that occurs.