I hope to be half the person my father is. Three rounds of chemo, and he still has a wonderful attitude, in spite of some fatigue, some pain. In my family, I am closest to my father. And these rough times have drawn us closer. We've had conversations that I will carry around in my heart for the remainder of my life. I am so grateful for this time I have with him. And with so many other stressful things going on around us, right now, he is the one person remaining calm and sure it will all be okay. He takes things in stride with incredible grace.
I am holding up, for him, for my family, but I drop as many tears down the shower drain as I do water, lately. It is like an emotional marathon. I'm still going, and I won't fall. He keeps thanking me for being here for him...he doesn't get it, I guess, that you reap what you sow, and I wouldn't do any less. He has always been there for me.
So, we celebrated my dad, this weekend, as he turned 64. Every occasion is bittersweet, because my mind wonders "Will there be more?" I'm trying not to ruin today by worrying about the future, because all I have is today. Well, that's all anybody has. I have had some wonderful and amazing people come into my life, during one the hardest points in my life. Like angels, coming in at the time I need them most. I hope I live long enough to give back to the universe all the kindness that I have been shown. ~Monica
I am holding up, for him, for my family, but I drop as many tears down the shower drain as I do water, lately. It is like an emotional marathon. I'm still going, and I won't fall. He keeps thanking me for being here for him...he doesn't get it, I guess, that you reap what you sow, and I wouldn't do any less. He has always been there for me.
So, we celebrated my dad, this weekend, as he turned 64. Every occasion is bittersweet, because my mind wonders "Will there be more?" I'm trying not to ruin today by worrying about the future, because all I have is today. Well, that's all anybody has. I have had some wonderful and amazing people come into my life, during one the hardest points in my life. Like angels, coming in at the time I need them most. I hope I live long enough to give back to the universe all the kindness that I have been shown. ~Monica
8 comments:
No matter what you think, you ARE an amazing and incredible person. You are dealing with this the best you can and I am very proud of you. Those pictures are great hun. What inspires me is that you keep going on with BFL no matter what, and that shows just how very strong you are. Take care :)
I found your blog!!! I so know what you are going through. My dad went through radiation then the stupid doctors missed the next diagnosis and he had his voice box taken out. Now of course he can't talk. He still has his issues but it has drawn us all closer when we weren't close to start with. SUCKS that something like this has to bring families together. I hope your dads spirits will help him out, it seems to be the positive attitude that helps. That's funny because my dad has never been a positive person and now he's the peace keeper in our family. Weird.
Monica ~
What a beautiful post on your Dad. Dads are amazing people and it shows how much you love him! You yourself are shining through right now by being selfless and having an unbelievable upbeat spirit despite what you are going through! I admire you for that.
LY~
~ Elizabeth (KSGirl)
You are so sweet Monica. It's normal to cry and be upset sometimes about this, but I am glad you realize that you should focus on today and not worry about tomorrow. You are a great person.
enjoy every precious moment.your such an amazing person, we know who you get it from.:) still praying for him monica.
michelle b(e28)
Thank you, everyone, for your sweet words. All of the loving support has really helped keep me afloat so I can be there for my dad.
Monica
Your dad sounds like an awesome man. My wife is currently dealing with a cancer scare, so I know what an insidious disease it is for those afflicted and loved ones.
Monica Joc is right you are one of a kind!It's so nice to see how you and your dad are so close.oxxoxox
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